Saturday, March 20, 2010

Tails of the Tessanator and the toe...

The Tessanator is a really INSANE cat who is part master thief and part Zena Warrior Princess right down to the flip and the battle cry.

She was bought into our household when she worked her wiles on my wife Karen who is a sucker for a sweet purr and a rub. My wife's argument was that she was God's Valentines day present to her.

Knowing that I was NOT going to win this I knew that the kitten about 3 months old or so would need to be quarantined and then we would need to make sure that she wasn't lost. So off the the ASPCA. Okay, okay but I was not being heartless or cruel I was being sensitive to the people that had lost their kitten.

When we arrived at the ASPCA the guy behind the desk looked in our carrier and told us, a) there was little likely hood that her owners would come for her and b) she was a black cat and they don't like to put them up for adoption due to the cruel acts that were perpetrated on black cats.

I still feel like he knew he had a soft touch on his hands. He told me that if she wasn't adopted (slim) or found by her owners (no chance) then in 3 days she would be euthanized. Well I asked if there was a way I could get her checked for diseases and set an appointment to have her fixed. He stated I could adopt her, so I called my wife back in who had been bawling in the car, and explained to her the options and we adopted her.

3 days later we got our previously healthy cat back from them with a case of kennel cough and worms, neither of which she had when she was bought in.

But we had our baby and from the start we knew there would be trouble, Scout our large 16lb cat took exception to Tes (The EVIL stranger (note: we had no idea how apropos that was)). I think Tess has watched one to many prison movies on TV because Scout is a M A S S I V E, and M U S C U L A R (she must have been born in East Germany), anyway the first thing Tess does is sidle up to Scout and wap her right on the nose and then box her ears, the caterwauling was horrendous followed by a loud THUMP of a very dazed and dizzy Tess as she bounced of the wall.

Well as luck would have it our little Warrior Princess has taken it that the apartment is not nearly big enough anymore and has decided to run out the door nearly every opportunity. Well it was sort of cute but dangerous so we put a collar on her and she promptly destroyed 2 before we found one made of sterner stuff. Well she suddenly was a ring necked cat, poor thing so we took off the collar and bought her a harness and a lead so that we could walk her.

Well its more of a drag than a walk as she doesn't quite know what to make out of the harness yet.

Well two nights ago about 12AM our neighbors were a bit noisy so I went next door to ask hem to lower the TV as I had an early morning, by in large my neighbors are pretty cool and they obliged immediately. I thanked them and turned to see a little black blur take off going down the catwalk. I gave chase, well I walked really fast after her, then she turned ducked around me and ran the other way, when I caught up with her she dodged again and ran back to the other end then as I was chasing her my toes slammed into the edge of the balcony, unfortunately she didn't stop and went down the stairs, limping I made my way down the stairs and she tried to dodge me again but I got her tail, long enough to pin her down.

All this while my wife the soft touch was asleep.

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